with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
