i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
