Christians are straight up FREAKS
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
