Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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