I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
