Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
