didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
