So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
