What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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