but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
