But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
