Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
