We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
