Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
