I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
