now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
