Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
