so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
