I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
