When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
