It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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