suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I could fuck to npr.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
