You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You are a genius and a whore.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
