im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
