yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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