Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
