I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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