i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
