I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
