How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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