found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
