I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
