Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
