sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
