careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
