he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
