bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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