didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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