Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
