soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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