I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
