you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
