I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
