The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
