Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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