Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
