you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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