I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
