Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
