I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
