hotel room ftw
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
