Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
