1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
